Reflections
by The biggest ikarishipping Fan
Summary: He tried to make her happy, but it was pointless. The man staring back at him in the mirror would never be good enough for her. He wasn't perfect, and he wasn't Ash, and he would be damned if he ever changed that, even for her. Ikarishipping, kind of anti-IS w/ hints of anti-pearlshipping.


**Reflections**

**Summary:** He tried to make her happy, but it was pointless. The man staring back at him in the mirror would never be good enough for her. He wasn't perfect, and he wasn't Ash, and he would be damned if he ever changed that, even for her. Ikarishipping, kind of anti-IS w/ hints of anti-pearlshipping.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

Always it had been Ash who was the good guy, the nice guy who could do no wrong, while he, Paul, was the bad guy, the mean guy, who could only do wrong.

At least, that was how he saw it whenever he encountered the raven-haired do-gooder who had always made it a point to criticize the way he treated his pokémon.

But now, suddenly, that role was reversed.

Suddenly, Ash was the bad guy, and now, after a moment of hesitant generosity, _he_ was the good guy.

Him.

Not Ash, _him._

Paul Strongman, not that damned know-it-all, Ash Ketchum.

But of course he should have known better than to think those roles would last. Or that those altered roles would do him any good.

Yeah, he saw her sitting alone on the swing set at the Veilstone Park one late evening.

Yeah, he saw that she was crying.

Yeah, he remembered her and decided to see what was wrong.

He didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was some manly instinct that had kicked in suddenly, some instinct that wouldn't allow him to walk away from a maiden in desperate need of saving. Either way, he did it and there was no way he could take it back.

He had asked what was wrong, and finally, after some prying (and a few harsh comments), he got the truth of out of her.

Naturally, he was shocked.

Ash Ketchum was the bad guy.

She was in love with him, and had even told him so, but he hadn't felt the same way; he had told her she was really nice and pretty, but he just didn't feel the same way about her. He had rejected her. Her first love had rejected her, leaving her genuinely heartbroken.

Not that there was anything he could do to help her.

But he had come to her, he had asked her what was wrong, and (a bit unfortunately,) he realized he was stuck with her.

So yeah, he had been her prince in tarnished armor after her heartbreak with Ash.

So yeah, after a while he started to develop genuine feelings for her (something that surprised even himself).

And yeah, after a while they started dating.

But no, that didn't mean anything.

She didn't love him.

She still loved Ash.

And so in the end, it looked as if nice guys did finish last.

* * *

It had been almost two whole freaking years.

_Two years._

And still, she wasn't over him.

"Torterra, Earthquake!"

The earth shook violently and another opponent's pokémon fell.

Weak.

"Oh no, Ponyta!" The panicked trainer returned his pokémon and rushed off, no doubt heading for the closest pokémon center.

Ha… They had even had a type advantage that time.

Paul glanced around and saw her.

She looked really pretty that day, dressed in a white strapless dress that was belted at the waist and fell just above her knees, her hair clipped back in familiar gold triangular clips while her bangs fell just above her eyebrows. She smiled at him, and he would have thought she was genuinely happy being there to watch him battle if it wasn't for one little thing, the one thing that was always the dead giveaway to how she was feeling.

Her eyes.

They held no light.

Another brave trooper dared to challenge him and Paul had to admire his bravery.

He kept his Torterra in battle while the younger trainer sent out a Miltank.

Of course she didn't say she still loved Ash, he just knew.

He knew by the way her eyes lit up at even the mere mention of him, at the way she smiled and blushed when he dared show himself, at the way she frowned whenever he took down one of the idiot's pokémon.

"Miltank, Rollout!"

Paul's attention snapped back to reality, and out of frustrations from where his thoughts had drifted, he mercilessly barked out one of Torterra's strongest attacks.

"Solar Beam!"

Immediately a sizzling, golden-orange orb began to form in front of Torterra's open mouth, gradually growing larger and larger in size as the moments passed. Miltank slammed into Torterra's side but it hardly deterred the larger pokémon.

"Tor-TEEEERRRA!" The pokémon cried out as it released its attack which immediately knocked into the cow-like pokémon.

It was a one-hit knockout.

Paul nodded in satisfaction at the power his starter pokémon had just demonstrated, but much to his frustration it still felt as if a storm was raging inside his head.

"Miltank!" The young boy cried, rushing to his pokémon side. "It's okay, Miltank, c'mon, I'll get you to a pokémon center!" The boy reassured his pokémon as he recalled it. He ran off quickly, only glancing behind once to stare at his stony-faced opponent with wide, fearful eyes.

"You could have gone easier on him," Dawn's voice commented from beside him. He turned his head a few degrees to see her disapproving expression and crossed arms. "He was only a kid."

Paul just shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Exactly. He was going to lose no matter what. What's the point in delaying it?" he responded. He turned around in time to see a flicker of annoyance cross her face.

Finally, her expression faltered, and she shook her head. "You are really a lot to deal with sometimes, Paul…"

"Back at you," he snapped.

She frowned at him.

Paul reflected her frown and then turned away.

He needed to get a hold of himself. He had to get a hold over his emotions; after all, emotions would only lead to weaknesses which ultimately led to failure. He couldn't let his ambition of someday becoming the Champion of Sinnoh be ruined because of some… _jealousy_ issue he felt over Dawn still liking Ash.

Jealousy…

Paul felt more anger boil inside of him at the mere confession to himself that yes, _he_, Paul Strongman, was jealous of Ash Ketchum because of Dawn Berlitz.

He hated it so much.

The way she made him feel, the way she made him jealous of Ash just because of her feelings for _him_, that friendly, pokémon-loving, moral-preaching, can-do-no-wrong goody two-shoes, the guy who was his _exact opposite_. He hated it.

But of course, he would never show it.

"Anyway," Dawn said, interrupting his jealous stream of thoughts, "I just came by to tell you I would be going over to Zoey's for a few hours."

"And?"

Once more annoyance painted her face. "I just thought I would let you know…" she muttered, walking off.

Once more Paul found himself frowning. Of course he never could say the right thing. He always said something that would come off rude or indifferent, something that did not mix well with Dawn who could act so much like Ash when she wanted to.

_You should be nicer to your pokémon._

_You should say thank you to your pokémon more often._

_You don't have to be so rude!_

The thing was, when Ash scolded him for the same things it was just annoying; with Dawn it was still annoying but it was also different. He _wanted_ to be nicer to his pokémon, he_ wanted_ to thank his pokémon more often, and he _wanted_ to be less rude. With Ash, well, the guy was simply impossible.

For a few moments Paul just stood there, lost in thought.

He wasn't good enough. It was as simple as that. He may have been a good enough pokémon trainer, but as a boyfriend… he wasn't even second best.

"Tor?"

Paul's eyes snapped to Torterra who was gazing at him with curious red eyes.

"Return, Torterra."

I'll take her out for dinner tonight, he decided, walking back to the apartment him and Dawn shared just a few blocks away, his hands in his pockets.

* * *

When Dawn returned, just a quarter till six, he immediately said:

"We're going to dinner at seven. Go shower or whatever, and make sure you're ready by six forty-five."

"Dinner?" she repeated, blinking.

"Yes," he said, starting to scowl. "Now go get ready."

"Oh, um… alright then!"

About roughly an hour later she reappeared, freshly showered with curled hair, wearing a moderate amount of makeup and a tight black dress that hugged her small, slender body in all the right places and a pretty necklace he had bought her for her birthday just last year. Along with that she wore strappy black stilettos that added an extra inch to her height.

Paul felt his cheeks warm up at the sight of her.

At the age of twenty-one, Dawn was now considered a woman, and had been considered one for quite a while. She certainly no longer looked like the little ten-year old he had met when he had made rivals out of Ash. She was now about half a foot taller than when they first met (now being about five-foot-four) with a more developed bosom (she wore no D-cup, but seriously, it would be unfair to give a girl as pretty and attractive as Dawn big boobs as well) and although still slender, her figure was more curvaceous.

If he really cared to think about it, he would probably admit that she was the prettiest girl he knew.

Paul felt his cheeks flush even more at this thought, and he looked away, to hide his red cheeks. He could have sworn he heard Dawn huff, and he assumed he took his act of looking away as a sign of indifference for her looks once more.

"Well, isn't somebody looking all handsome tonight all dressed up," she teased in her light tone, her blue eyes starting to sparkle mischievously. For a second Paul just stared at her, shocked by the unusual amount of warmth he saw there.

"What? You're not going to respond to that? Or even comment on my outfit? I spent an hour getting ready just to look good for you," she crossed her arms and frowned at him. "Do I really look that bad?" she asked, starting to tug on a curl.

"You worry too much," he responded, starting to open the door. "C'mon, let's go, we're going to be late for our reservation."

She sighed but followed suit.

About fifteen minutes later they arrived at the Seven Stars restaurant, the most popular restaurant outside of Veilstone, and probably the most popular restaurant in all of Sinnoh.

For a few moments, as they were checked in and led to their seats near the back of the restaurant, Paul almost thought he could enjoy the night.

For a few moments… but unfortunately, those moments did not last.

Dawn took her seat across from him and as she turned to face him, her smile pleasant and her eyes bright, he almost smiled. But then her face changed. Her smile dissolved and her eyes widened.

"Dawn! Paul!"

For a moment, he actually thought the night wouldn't be so bad. Now, he knew he was wrong, so wrong.

Paul felt his fists clench and his jaws tighten as he saw the obvious joy in Dawn's eyes and the silly infatuated school-girl grin that curved her lips. He scowled and folded his arms across his chest. He didn't even turn to face the raven-haired_ saint_.

"Ash!" she exclaimed, smiling warmly at him. "What a nice surprise!"

Suddenly, Paul was aware of another person approaching and then stopping just behind him, where Ash was standing. He saw Dawn's smile falter before brightening again, this time forced. Curious, he turned around to see a pretty carrot-haired girl standing beside Ash, his arm looped around her slim waist.

"Misty! It's so nice to see you, too," Dawn told her.

Liar, Paul thought angrily, bitterly. You wish she wasn't around. You wish she would just disappear, so you could be with your precious _Ash_.

"So I see you two are out on a date. Wooing the lady, mm, Paul?" Ash asked teasingly, grinning as he nudged his shoulder.

Paul wanted to punch him, but somehow, he managed to restrain himself from doing so.

"Hn." He turned away, his teeth starting to hurt from how hard he was grounding them. _Go away,_ he willed him.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Dawn frowning at him, just a hint of anger touching her eyes.

"Paul, don't be rude!" she scolded him. She turned to Ash and Misty again and smiled apologetically. "Sorry about him."

Of course you would apologize for something I did – or didn't – do, Paul thought angrily, his nails starting to dig into his arms.

Ash shrugged. "To be honest, I kind of expected it."

"Ash, I'm going to go freshen up in the restroom," Misty told him. "I'll see you at our table."

Ash grinned at her. "Alright, see you there Mist!" he told her, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

Paul didn't miss the flash of pain and hurt that crossed Dawn's face, or the way her hands fisted and her lips pursed.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep, calming breath, and when he reopened his eyes he was no longer scowling. No, he was keeping his face carefully indifferent and inscrutable.

"Don't you have something better to be doing?" he asked, quite rudely.

"Paul!" Dawn hissed, glaring at him. "Stop being so rude to Ash! He hasn't done anything to you!" Again, Paul just shrugged.

"Some people just don't change," Ash muttered, frowning.

"Obviously," she said, sighing.

"Obviously," Paul repeated, barely able to keep his voice under control, but unable to keep a bitter coldness from creeping in.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dawn questioned, still glaring at him.

"Exactly what _he_ implied," he retorted.

"At least Ash is nice and kind to other people," Dawn told him. "You should be more like him, instead of being rude to him and everybody else!"

"Yeah, I should," he replied, his face back to being indifferent as he slouched in his chair, arms crossed. "But I won't."

He could see the look of frustration clear on her face, and he was aware of how Ash was now looking from Dawn to him and back to her, but he didn't care. Ash frowned now, clearly looking uncomfortable.

"Well, I think I better go."

Dawn's eyes widened. "You're going so soon?"

Ash smiled, looking uneasy. "Only to the other side of the room, you know, where mine and Misty's table is…"

"Oh. Of course! Go, she's waiting Ash," she said, smiling. Paul knew it was fake.

Ash nodded. "See you, Dawn… Paul."

Paul said nothing in response.

Before Dawn could even have a chance to possibly scold him for his rudeness, or start some kind of argument between them, their waitress came to take their orders. Even after she left, they said nothing to each other, a cold silence filling the table. They didn't even attempt to make conversation.

About ten to fifteen minutes later their food arrived. When he glanced up, he was aware of their waitress, a pretty and curvy brunette, studying him and Dawn. After a moment she smiled at him.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked sweetly. He knew the question was meant for both him and Dawn, but she was looking only at him, her soft brown eyes sultry.

Paul turned away from her to stare at Dawn.

"I would like a refill of my tea, please, if it's not too much to ask," Dawn spoke up, smiling. She didn't even seem aware of the girl's flirtatious behavior towards him.

"What kind of tea, miss?" the waitress asked, taking the glass cup from her. Her eyes were no longer sultry, and now she held a hint of annoyance in them. If Dawn noticed, she remained indifferent to the waitress's coldness to her.

"Sweet tea," she responded, still smiling.

The waitress left, leaving only the two of them again.

They ate in silence. The clinking of silverware echoed loudly around them, the only noise being made between the two. Five minutes later the waitress reappeared with Dawn's sweet tea. About half an hour later they finished eating, and not even bothering with dessert, they paid the bill and left. The fifteen minutes car ride back home was filled with nothing but silence as well.

Paul couldn't help but think of earlier though, before Ash had showed up. Dawn had been smiling at him, her eyes had been bright. He had actually thought for a few moments the evening wouldn't be that bad, that he would have actually enjoyed the evening… but he was wrong.

He had thought for a few moments she had possibly finally gotten over Ash. _Wrong again_. He had thought for a few moments she might have actually developed some feelings for him, some genuine feelings. _But he was wrong again._

No, she would never get over him. She would never like him like she liked Ash.

But why the hell should he care?! Who cares if she never got over Ash, Ash didn't feel the same way back. Ash was with Misty, Misty was his girlfriend. She couldn't change his feelings for her no matter how much she wished she could.

Paul's grip on the steering wheel tightened.

No... No one can change the way someone else feels…

When they finally arrived at their apartment complex, _Platinum Apartments_, they got out of the car and entered the apartment without saying a word to each other. Not even five minutes later, Paul was outside again and he walked towards the park the building had just a few yards away from his and Dawn's apartment.

"Torterra, earthquake! Electivire, thunder punch! Magmortar, flamethrower!"

_You should be nicer to your pokémon._

_You should say thank you to your pokémon more often._

_You don't have to be so rude!_

For her, all his flaws were so easy to see. So why couldn't she see Ash's flaws the way she saw his? His rashness, his recklessness, his stubbornness.

She would never love him, but what did it matter to him? All he needed was power. All he needed was strong pokémon.

**/x/x/x/**

When he came in that night after training he saw the light in the bedroom him and Dawn shared was still on.

Dawn was still up.

Paul checked the clock and saw that it was a little past two.

Weird, she is usually asleep by this time, he thought. She never stayed up pass the time it took for him to get back from training, especially when he came back this late.

Slowly he opened the door to their room.

He could hear the chatter of a talk show going on in the background, and when he glanced over at their HD TV, he saw that _Coordinator Talk_, a talk show that talked about contests and frequently had top coordinators on their show, was playing.

When he turned his attention towards their bed he saw Dawn was in her pajamas and was lying on the opposite end of their bed, her face pressed against a pillow she had put there and one of her arms dangled off the bed, the remote still in her hand. He quickly realized Dawn had fallen asleep while watching TV.

Sighing, he bent down and gently pried the remote from her hand before turning off the TV. Next, careful not to disturb her from her slumber, he lifted her up in his arms before placing her on the right side of the bed. He adjusted the pillow beneath her head so she would be comfortable as she slept and then pulled their covers up until they touched her chin.

"Mmn…" Paul froze as Dawn tossed over in her sleep, her hand reaching towards his side of the bed for a second, as if searching for something. Frowning in her sleep, she tossed over again before lying still.

Paul stared at her for a second, mesmerized by the midnight blue shade of her hair and the creamy ivory color of her skin. For a moment he wondered why he had been mad at her that evening, or how he could ever be mad at someone so angelic looking. And then he remembered Ash, and the way she had been staring at him that afternoon, her eyes bright and glittery as she glowed at his appearance.

Frustrated once more by her obvious infatuation with Ash, he forced himself to turn away from the sleeping beauty. Sighing, he grabbed the gray sweats he always slept in and entered the bathroom to get ready for bed.

About thirty minutes later, he exited the bathroom, freshly showered and ready for bed. As quietly as he could he climbed into bed, careful not to disturb Dawn.

"Paul…?"

Paul froze as he heard Dawn's sleepy mumble from beside him. Slowly he turned towards her, and was once more stunned by how angelic she looked sitting up in bed, the moonlight from a nearby window enveloping her in a white veil.

"Where have you been?" she asked sleepily, her ocean blue eyes meeting his. "I missed you," she murmured, before wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest.

Paul sat there, stunned. Slowly, he returned the hug and laid down so his head touched the pillow. Dawn's hug on him tightened as she smiled in her sleep.

Paul stared down at the blunette, wondering if she had been dreaming and everything she said was just sleep-talk.

Sighing, he closed his eyes, and eventually, sleep found him.

* * *

A few days later, Paul had just gotten back from training to get something to eat when he saw the pictures.

Ash and Dawn posing at the beach.

One of the two eating cotton candy together at a fair.

A picture of them sticking their tongues out and giving the peace sign.

A photo of her and Ash after one of her contests.

A snapshot of her, Ash, and Brock.

Why does she have all these photos out? He wondered, staring at the pictures, numb with shock.

A picture of her and Ash roasting marshmallows.

A photo of them making silly faces together.

"Oh hey, you're back already?" Dawn commented, exiting the kitchen with half a sandwich in one hand. "I made you a sandwich already if you're hungry. I made it just the way you like it, honey ham with mayonnaise, honey mustard, lettuce and one slice of cheese. No tomatoes." She smiled at him as she said this.

Paul stared at her for a few moments. He turned back to the pictures laid out so neatly on the table, and then back at her. "Why are all these pictures out?" he questioned.

"Oh. I was just… remembering," she responded, frowning as she shifted her weight. "Those were… were from when me, Ash, and Brock were travelling together in Sinnoh, and… and then from when Ash decided to come back to Sinnoh, a few years ago. I was organizing the stuff in our closet and I found them in an old box I had…"

Paul stared at the pictures, his eyes hardening and his jaw clenching, as he took in Ash's grinning face and chocolate-colored eyes in each picture. He felt something else inside of him clench as he saw the happy, smiling blue-haired girl that accompanied Ash in each picture.

"Paul…?"

Slowly, he turned away. Just as slowly, he walked into the kitchen where he saw a sandwich laid out on a paper towel near their microwave.

"Thanks for the sandwich," he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. He took the sandwich and walked pass Dawn who stared at him, a frown painted across her features.

When he exited their apartment, he stared at the sandwich in his hands, frowning.

It was just the way he liked it.

**/x/x/x/**

She found him a few hours later training on the edge of the forest just outside of Veilstone.

When Paul finally saw her, leaning against one of the tall oak trees, he was slightly surprised.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, his words coming out harsher than he intended.

"Glad to see you too!" she said sarcastically, and rolled her eyes, a light-hearted smile on her face. "I just came to see how you and your pokémon were doing."

Paul raised an eyebrow. She came to check up on him and his pokémon? Or did she just come to make sure he hadn't killed any of them yet?

"_Pokémon are supposed to be friends, Paul, not tools. Can't you lighten up on their training, just a little bit?"_

Suddenly wary, he stiffened, ready to hear what "criticism" she had to give him this time.

She frowned at him and folded her arms. "Would you relax? I'm not going to bite your head off. I _promise_." Suddenly appearing nervous, she tugged at a strand of hair and her frown deepened. "Are you mad at me?"

"No." He turned away from her. "Why would I be?"

She shrugged, appearing uncomfortable. "I don't know."

Paul returned the pokémon he had been training. He muttered a "thanks" to them under his breath, before turning back to Dawn. She was smiling at him, appearing amused.

"Done training your pokémon so soon?" she asked, her eyes twinkling mischievously. She crossed her arms again, and this time Paul noticed the outfit she was wearing. A pretty red strapless top and a cute little jean skirt.

"Yeah. So?" he responded, scowling as he turned away again.

"Well, let's go do something then," she said. She smiled as she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"What did you wanna do?"

"Something fun, adventurous," she responded, smirking slightly.

Without another word, she pulled him deeper and deeper into the forest, their joined hands the only thing keeping them from getting separated.

As they passed tree after tree, Paul couldn't help but admire Dawn. Her hair looked so sleek and shiny in the sunlight that crept in through the trees, and her hand felt so small and soft in his. Tree after tree, Paul felt a small smile creep onto his lips.

For a moment, he forgot about Ash and Dawn's obvious infatuation with him. For a moment, it was only him and Dawn, no ghostly reminder of Ash there to separate them, or keep them at arm's length from each other. The moment was perfect as him and Dawn, hand in hand, walked alone in the forest, nothing but the melodious songs of starlies filling their ears.

"I remember when I traveled through this forest with Ash and Brock," she commented quietly. Paul stiffened at the mention of his rival's name. He spoke too soon. Of course, not even perfection can last… "We got lost so many times."

Suddenly she stopped. "Do you know where we are?"

Paul looked around, but all he saw was trees after trees and patches of grass. "No." After a moment, he added, "I think we may be lost."

She smiled. "Good. Then nobody can find us."

_Nobody can find us._

Those words echoed in his head as she cupped his cheek and pressed her lips firmly against his. He kissed her fervently back, his hands sliding down to her waist as she was pushed up against the trunk of a tree. As they broke the kiss to catch their breath, he heard her sigh as she ran a finger along the structure of his cheekbone. He watched her eyes flutter shut as a small smile slid on her lips, and she leaned in for another kiss, her hand sliding down his arm.

_No one could find them. Not even Ash._

* * *

"If you don't want to be here with me, then just go! Nobody's stopping you! _I_'m not stopping you, so just go! Leave! If you don't like Sinnoh, then just go!"

"It's not that I dislike Sinnoh, and you know that! I just can't stay here!"

"Oh really, you can't stay here? Or you just can't stay here with _me?_"

"You are impossible!"

"Well, so are you!"

"You know what, fine! You obviously want me to leave, so I'll leave!"

"Good! It's by time! _Goodbye!_ Have a nice trip back to Kanto!"

"Screw you, Ketchum!"

Paul felt his gut sink as he witnessed the fight between his raven-haired rival and his carrot-haired ex-girlfriend.

As he watched the sensational sister storm off with Ash glaring after her, he knew he was in trouble.

**/x/x/x/**

"Paul! Open up! C'mon, open up! Paul!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Paul demanded, scowling. "Are you just trying to break our door or something?"

"Or something," Ash responded as he pushed past the plum-haired man and ran his hands repeatedly through his untidy hair. "Let's battle! We need to battle!"

"All my pokémon are in the pokémon center, so no."

"Is something wrong, Ash?" Dawn asked, as always sympathetic for the raven-haired trainer's well-being. Her blue eyes were wide with worry. "You seem really upset."

Paul felt his gut clench and his body tense as he remembered the argument he had witnessed between Ash and Misty after he had dropped his pokémon off at the pokémon center.

Ash looked up, his eyes connecting with Dawn's. "I… I'm fine. Thanks, Dawn… no need to worry."

Dawn smiled at the sound of her catchphrase. "No problem, Ash. I'll always be here if you need to talk about something."

Paul felt sick at her words. _I'll always be here…_

Paul stared at the blunette, at the sparkle in her eyes, the tenderness in her smile, the pink in her cheeks. Did Ash know she still loved him?

Slowly Paul turned his attention from Dawn to him. He felt even sicker as he saw the smile he was giving her and the brightness of his chocolate-colored eyes.

"Thank you, Dawn. You are always so compassionate and caring… but I don't know if even you could help me with what's going on right now…"

"Well, what _is_ going on? I might be able to help somehow, or give you some advice!" she responded eagerly.

"It's just… well, um, me and Misty kind of got into a fight, and now she's leaving Kanto… we broke up," he admitted, his brown eyes darkening with sadness and frustration as he ran a hand through his hair again.

"You… you and Misty… broke up?" she repeated, shocked.

Paul was pretty sure he didn't imagine the hopeful glint that briefly lit up her eyes.

Her eyes were always bright around him. Always.

Around him, they were lifeless. Ninety percent of the time they were like an empty shell. But then _he_ would come around and suddenly they would sparkle as if they were filled with all the stars painted in the night sky.

Again, that frustration filled Paul's chest as he silently watched Dawn lead Ash over to one of their couches, to discuss Ash's latest dilemma.

Every time he would start to think that maybe, just maybe, she was getting over Ash, that maybe she was starting to like him better than Ash, _he_ proved him wrong. He would show up, and he would make her eyes sparkle like he never could.

Silently, his arms folded across his chest, he exited the apartment.

**/x/x/x/**

Whenever Paul was feeling angry or frustrated, he trained. But he hadn't lied when he told Ash that all his pokémon were at the pokémon center. So instead he did the next best thing.

He went to Reggie's.

"Tea?"

Paul stared at the white ceramic cup his brother was holding before taking it, mumbling thanks under his breath.

"How are Weavile and Honchkrow doing?"

"They're doing fine. Your other pokémon are doing great, too," Reggie responded, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

"Ah."

"So what brings you to my house?" Reggie queried, smiling at his younger brother.

"Just checking up on my pokémon," he responded, taking a sip of the tea Reggie made him.

"Is that all?"

Paul nodded.

"Hmmm. So how is Dawn doing?"

"She's doing _great_," Paul responded, his tone sarcastic.

"Are you two having a fight? Is that why you came to my place?" Reggie asked, a smirk gracing his lips. "Did you need some brotherly advice?"

"I don't need any advice, and me and Dawn are not having a fight," he retorted, scowling.

"Then what's with the scowl?"

"Nothing."

"Is it Ash?" Paul's eyebrow twitched at the sound of the raven-haired trainer's name. "Aha! So it is Ash!"

Paul remained quiet, although his eyes did darken considerably.

"So what happened this time? Did you lose in a battle with him?"

Paul scoffed. "No. He's just over at our apartment."

"Then what's the problem?" Reggie questioned.

"What's the problem? The problem is I don't like him!" he responded angrily. "Him and his girlfriend just broke up, so he came to mine and Dawn's apartment to battle me, but my pokémon are currently in the pokémon center, so now him and Dawn are probably having some kind of heart-to-heart or some other bullshit."

Reggie pursed his lips together thoughtfully and nodded. "Ah… I see the problem. You're_ jealous_."

Paul felt his jaw clench at Reggie's words. Was it really that obvious? He snorted in disgust before taking another sip of his tea.

"I never thought I would see the day when my baby brother was jealous of _Ash_," Reggie teased, smirking.

"Shut up, Reggie," he growled.

"Does Dawn know you're jealous of Ash? And does she know she's the reason?"

She better not know, Paul thought darkly.

"I'm not jealous of Ash."

"That is such a lie, and we both know it. What, do you think that you've been gone long enough for me not to know my brother as well as I used to? You've hardly changed, Paul."

_You just won't change! _Paul flinched as similar words Dawn once said echoed in his head. _You're always treating your pokémon with disrespect!_

"I do find it shocking though. Why would you be jealous of Ash?"

Paul remained silent, although he fiercely wanted to deny Reggie's claim.

"I know Ash and Dawn are good friends, best friends even, but that's no reason to be jealous. After all, she's with _you,_ not him."

But what you don't know is that if given the opportunity, and if he loved her back, she would be with him, Paul thought bitterly. He felt his eyebrows furrow as he glowered at the russet color of the tea he was drinking and the reflection he saw glowering back at him.

Slowly, careful to keep his emotions in check, he commented, "That doesn't mean she can't decide to be with him."

A silence blanketed the room, and when Paul looked up he saw Reggie was staring at him with thoughtful black eyes. Paul frowned, wondering what had caused Reggie's sudden silence.

"Do you love her, Paul?" Reggie demanded. Paul's eyes widened from shock at Reggie's blunt question. Immediately he scowled and opened his mouth, ready to retort that of course he didn't love her!

"Actually, no, don't even reply to that. I already know the answer, and I know you too well to know that you are going to deny that claim."

Paul closed his mouth, once more shocked; this time from how easily his brother saw through him.

"If you love her—and I know you do—then you better let her know," Reggie told him, folding his arms across his chest.

"You make it sound so easy," Paul retorted, mimicking his brother's actions and folding his arms across his chest as he glared at him.

Reggie rolled his eyes and left the room. "Wait here, I'm going to go get something."

A few minutes later Reggie returned, holding something small and shiny between his index and thumb finger. Paul blinked when he saw it was a ring.

"That's mom's wedding ring," he whispered, recognizing the large diamond encrusted platinum ring as the ring he saw his mom wearing in pictures. He stared at the ring, both numb and mesmerized by the sight of the ring. He knew from stories he had heard that carved inside the platinum ring was his last name, _Strongman_. His father had had the ring specially made when he proposed to his mom.

Reggie nodded. "Ask her to marry you."

"Are you crazy?" he responded, shocked.

"You love her, so why not?"

"Why not…" At that moment Paul felt anger wash over him. "She's in love with someone else!"

"And how would you know that, hm?" Reggie asked. "Did she tell you that? Did you ask her?"

"No, I don't need to," he retorted angrily back.

"Then you don't know if she loves someone else," Reggie responded just as heatedly back.

"She doesn't love me, and I'm not asking her to marry me!"

"But you love her! You want to be with her, don't you? And you will never truly know whether or not she loves you until you ask!"

"So basically you want me to go up to her, tell her that I love her, ask her if she loves me back, then pop her the big effing question and live happily ever after with her? Is that what you're expecting me to do? Newsflash Reggie, that is _never_ going to happen!"

"Like I said, you will never know until you try," his brother responded, meeting his brother's glare with one of his own.

Paul gritted his teeth. Out of the two brothers, Paul had always been the colder and meaner one while Reggie had always been the nicer, friendlier one. Nonetheless, they still shared the same blood, and unfortunately for Paul, that meant they could both be strong-minded and determined when they wanted to be. At that moment Reggie decided he just _had_ to be a pain-in-the-ass about his relationship with Dawn.

"Just take the ring, Paul," Reggie told him, forcing the ring in his younger brother's hand. "I'm not saying you have to ask today, or tomorrow, or this year even. You can ask whenever you're ready. It _has_ been two years though. If she has stayed with you this long already, then she must feel _something_ for you by now."

Paul stared at the diamond and platinum ring in his hand. Slowly, he turned it so he could see the inside of the ring. Inside he could make out the carving of nine letters in a cursive font.

_Strongman__._

"I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm just trying to help you out. Just consider it, Paul."

**/x/x/x/**

"Where have you been?"

I'm surprised you even care, Paul bit back the words that were on his tongue.

"I went to my brother's."

"Oh, Reggie's? How is he doing?" she asked, smiling. She was already in her pajamas, a light coral pink tank top with a buneary on the front and butter-yellow boxer shorts.

"He's fine."

"That's good. Did you see Maylene while you were there?"

"No, she was gone."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure she's fine anyway. So why did you leave when Ash was here?" she questioned, her blue eyes shining with curiosity.

Shrugging out of his jacket, he responded, "I simply didn't feel like listening to his sob story."

"Sob story?" she repeated, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Him and his girlfriend of _fifteen months_ just broke up. You _could_ be a little more sympathetic, you know."

Fifteen months, huh? Did he tell you that, or have you just been keeping track? Again, he bit back the words that were on his tongue.

"Well, I figured you would want to be alone with him." He didn't realize how spiteful he sounded until after he said the words. Well, too late to take them back now.

"What does that mean?" she demanded, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. "Are you implying something?!"

"I implied nothing," he responded simply back, walking past her. "Why, what did you think I implied?"

"It sounded as if you were implying I wanted to be alone with him because I still like him!" she responded back shrilly.

"You do still like him," he replied softly, coldly.

Although his back was turned on her, he knew her blue eyes had widened in shock and her mouth had dropped open in surprise.

He just knew her that well now…

"I do not!" she shrieked.

"You're a terrible liar," he responded coldly. He entered their bedroom and walked towards his drawers to receive his pajamas.

"I'm not lying!" she retorted angrily, storming after him. "I'm over him, _over him!_"

"If you're over him, then why are you so happy him and Misty finally broke up?" This time he did see her eyes widen in shock as he turned towards her, his eyes cold as they met hers.

"I-I'm not happy they broke up!" she stuttered, flushing red.

"Then why did you stutter?"

"I… I!" Her eyes glistened in the light as she clenched her teeth together. "What the hell is your _problem!_" Angrily she stormed out of the room, and the walls trembled as she slammed the door loudly behind her.

Paul's eyes dropped to the ground.

What the hell _was_ his problem?

* * *

"_Ask her to marry you."_

If he took her on a moonlight scroll through the Hearthome Park, maybe some of the night's magic would rub off on him. And if he kissed her lips when all the stars were twinkling down on them, maybe for a second her heart would inflate so much it would be big enough to hold all the stars in the night sky. And then if her took her hand, and got down on one knee, maybe when he asked her to marry him maybe, just maybe, she would say yes.

And maybe she would forget about Ash.

And maybe she would realize she loved_ him_, not Ash.

"_If you love her…then you better let her know."_

Paul stared at the platinum ring he held in the palm of his hands, his expression thoughtful. He studied the large diamond embedded in the middle of the ring, and then the several smaller diamonds that surrounded the larger one.

Again, he saw the inscription of his last name, _Strongman_ , on the inside of the ring.

Was he foolish to think she could ever love him back?

He frowned at the thought.

Was he just a fool to even be entertaining the notion of asking Dawn to marry him? He didn't even _want_ to ask Dawn to marry him.

I don't even want to get married, he thought, scowling. Staring at the ring in his hand though, he suddenly realized that was a lie.

"Damn you, Reggie, for getting ideas in my head…" Paul muttered, pocketing the tiny ring. He sighed, unable to stop frowning.

If he did love her… and he didn't even know if he did… how would he even be able to tell her that? And if he ever did get the nerve to tell her that, what would she even say? Would she smile at him but say nothing? Would she smile at him but tell him she loved Ash, not him?

Ash was her best friend. He had been by her side since the first day she started her journey, and he had been her best friend ever since. For most of her journey through Sinnoh, he had just been a rival to Ash. He and Dawn hardly even acknowledged each other back in those days, and more than anything he had just been an acquaintance to her.

Looking back at that history, it was no wonder she was in love with Ash and not him.

Paul felt his gut clench as he remembered a moment at his first Sinnoh League.

He had discovered Dawn eavesdropping on him with her piplup in her arms. She had stood up and laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. He had walked away, but then she had followed. She asked him something—he couldn't even remember what she had asked him—but suddenly… Suddenly, he found himself confessing his reason for disliking Ash to her. He still couldn't understand why he did such a thing, especially to _her_, Ash's best friend.

But he remembered her response. Her response was simple. "Ash is Ash, just as Reggie is Reggie."

The murmur of chatter started to fill the room as more and more people entered. A few seats ahead of him, he saw the back of Ash's messy hair and the electric rodent on his shoulder as he took a seat in the front row.

He could still remember Dawn running from his side to Ash's, and the blush on her cheeks as she did so. Surely that blush wasn't from being caught with him; surely it had been because she liked Ash – a lot, lot. After all, she must have realized by then how amazing he was. He was always there at her contests, he always cheered her on when she needed it, and he was her best friend.

He hadn't been jealous then. He hadn't liked her as much then as he did now. He _had_ liked her then though. At least, more than Ash and Brock. Although looking back now, he realized that out of the three, Brock had been the least annoying out of all of them. He hadn't nagged him or criticized him nearly as much about the way he had treated his pokémon than the other two.

When Dawn entered the stage in her contest gown—a sparkly, floor-length ice-blue gown with a white waistband—and her hair curled, the crowd went wild. She grinned as she waved before releasing her pokémon. Her grin widened as she spotted Ash in the front crowd.

She probably didn't even know he was in the crowd, cheering her on (albeit, silently and in his own Paul-like way) with the rest of her fans.

She never talked to him about her contests. She always assumed he didn't care. True, contests weren't on his interests list, and they weren't the most interesting topic for him to talk about, but he _did_ care. She just couldn't realize that.

But then again, he supposed that was half his fault.

It had always been Ash or Zoey she went to when she wanted to talk about contests. Most of the time it had been Zoey she went to, but lately, with Ash and Misty now broken up, it was him she went to when she wanted an opinion on her appeals or some contest of hers.

"…_you will never truly know whether or not she loves you until you ask!"_

Maybe, but how could he even begin to get the nerves to ask her, when the answer already seemed so glaringly obvious?

It was Ash.

It had always been Ash…

The answer to his question would be in her eyes. Her dull, lightless blue eyes. But then when she would turn to Ash, he would watch them brighten, and he would definitely know.

Ash lit the fire in her eyes, and the fire in her heart.

Paul felt the ring in his pocket again and frowned.

He was living in a fairy tale if he honestly thought Dawn would ever want to marry him.

* * *

"_I'm not saying you have to ask today, or tomorrow, or this year even." _

Paul tossed and turned in his sleep, tormented by the images in his head and the terrible ache in his heart.

"_You can ask whenever you're ready."_

Sweat ran down his brow and all over his body as he clenched his fists. Reggie's voice kept echoing in his head, but all he saw was Ash and Dawn at her contest, laughing, hugging, smiling.

"_It __**has**__ been two years though." _

And when the images of Ash and Dawn weren't clouding his dream, it was the arguments. He would see Dawn's face, twisted in anger, as she screamed at him and fiercely blinked back tears that threatened to spill from her eyes, her whole body trembling in rage. And then he would see himself, like he was having some out-of-body experience, and he would see similar rage on his face as he glared and shouted at the blunette.

"_If she has stayed with you this long already, then she must feel __**something**__ for you by now."_

They were so different. He was apathetic, cold, and independent. She was girly, upbeat, and bubbly. And then the things they did have in common, like their stubbornness, clashed with each other.

She would never love him.

Reggie was wrong.

She will _never_ love him.

"_**If she has stayed with you this long already, then she must feel **__**something**__** for you by now."**_

"Paul! _Paul!_ Quit moving all over the place! You're keeping me up," Dawn grumbled sleepily, her voice annoyed.

Still hot and sweaty from his dream—or was it more of a nightmare?—he grumbled harshly back, "Then sleep someplace else!"

"Ugh! You're impossible," she growled, turning over as she clamped her pillow over her ears.

* * *

Paul couldn't stop thinking of that one time in the forest.

"_Done training your pokémon so soon?" _

He stared at the ring he held in the palm of his hands, the ring he had been thinking of so much lately, since Reggie had given it to him. His toast and orange juice remained forgotten on the table he sat at, his thoughts and attention focused elsewhere.

"_Well, let's go do something then."_

She had led him deep into the forest, and she had kissed him. Not that they had never kissed before then, but that kiss had felt different. Or maybe it really hadn't been, and it had all been in his head. Maybe it only felt different because he _wanted_ it to feel different. He _wanted_ it to feel as she wasn't thinking of Ash for once.

He wanted to believe she was getting over him, he wanted to believe she was starting to like him more than Ash, and he wanted to believe that time in the forest proved she was starting to do just that.

But that didn't mean it _was_ going to happen just because he wanted it to.

"_What do you wanna do?"_

"_Something fun, adventurous." _

Her feverish kisses, the closeness of her body.

He wanted to believe she had felt something for him in those moments, but who's to say she hadn't been pretending he was Ash the whole time, wishing it was Ash kissing her like that and not him? And lust wasn't the same as love. Not even close.

The fire in her eyes, her hand on his cheek. He had gotten lost in them, but had she gotten lost in his? Or had she been awake the whole time, thinking of Ash and only Ash? That entire time in the forest felt like only a dream now…

"_Do you know where we are?"_

"_No… I think we may be lost."_

At that time, he had thought she could have loved him back… that there was a small chance she could have loved him back…

But then Ash and Misty broke up…

And then it was as if the connection he had thought he felt was cut.

The fire was extinguished before it even had a chance to spark.

Her heart was back in Ash's greedy clutches before he even had a chance to hold it.

Or maybe the connection had never been there. Maybe he had just imagined it. Maybe his heart's foolish and weak desire had caused him to imagine everything he thought she felt back then.

He turned the platinum ring in his hand again, his eyes finding the inscription of his last name once more.

But maybe… maybe he hadn't imagined it…

"_Good. Then nobody can find us."_

"What's that?"

Paul quickly pocketed the ring in his pants pocket.

"Breakfast?"

"Weren't you just holding something?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "It looked like a ring."

"You're imagining things," he responded simply, taking a bite out of his long-forgotten toast.

"Mhmm… yeah, okay," she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously as she leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. "I know you won't really care, but I just thought I would let you know that I won my contest yesterday."

"What makes you think I wouldn't care?" he asked.

"Huh? Excuse me?"

This time he turned to her as he said, "What makes you think I wouldn't care?" he asked, point-blank.

She frowned. Clearly, she had not expected that as a response. "Well…uh… you're not interested in contests?" Her voice trailed off as uncertainty and confusion took over.

"True, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested in _yours_." He turned back to his toast, but he didn't miss the faint blush that rose on her cheeks upon his words.

"O-oh. Well, that's good to know. But um, yeah… so, I won," She tilted her head to the side, her hair falling over one shoulder as she smiled. "And I barely got any points deducted, too."

"I know."

"You know?"

"I saw the contest."

When Paul turned towards her again he saw her eyes were wide in surprise again. Clearly he was just filled with surprises for her today.

He wasn't sure whether he should be annoyed or pleased.

"I didn't know you watched my contests," she commented quietly, her eyes dropping to the ground.

Paul was silent for a moment.

"You have five ribbons now, right? Enough to compete in the Grand Festival?"

Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah… I do."

Paul was silent as he thought to himself.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Where do I… want to go? Why?" she questioned.

He shrugged. "You're now eligible to compete in the Grand Festival… why not celebrate."

"Celebrate?" she said the word as if it was some foreign word to her. "Celebrate," she repeated again, this time thoughtfully. "Yeah. Yeah, okay… well, um, I did want to go to the mall to buy some new clothes and maybe a new pair of shoes. We can go there, if you don't mind…?"

"It's your celebration," he responded. He picked up his empty plate and cup and walked over to the dishwasher to discard of them. "If you want to go to the mall, then we'll go. I'll pay."

He walked over to the table again and grabbed his keys.

"Paul?"

"Hn?" He glanced over at her.

She hesitated.

"Thank you."

For a moment they just stared at each other, their eyes locked with each other. Slowly, he walked over to where she was standing against the kitchen counter, their eye contact never breaking. He was about a full head taller than her, so her head was tilted back as she gazed up at him.

He frowned momentarily, remembering that day in the forest, before cupping her cheeks in both his hands. Her eyes were already closed by the time his mouth touched hers, first tentatively, then passionately, as he pressed his body against hers. Somehow her hands found their way to the collar of his jackets as she deepened the kiss. He pulled away momentarily—so they could both catch their breaths—before swiftly smashing his lips against hers again.

Paul was flushed with heat, but he didn't – _couldn't_ – end the fiery kiss. One of them would part for a breath of fresh air, and then find their lips collided once more in a passionate frenzy.

She _had_ to feel the same way as him, she _had_ to!

Their lips together, it just felt so _right_.

Or maybe it was just lust… maybe it really did mean nothing…

_Shut up!_ It does mean something! It _has_ to.

Paul found he could not keep up with the swirling thoughts in his head and the emotions going through his body.

Finally, they parted for good, both flushed and panting heavily as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

"Let's go," he breathed, grabbing for his keys again.

"R-right."

**/x/x/x/**

"Paul! Which top is cuter? This one," she held up a black cold-shoulder top with the gold outline of a piplup on the front. "Or this one?" She held up another black top, this one a sequin-covered tank top.

"The second one," he answered immediately.

"Me too. Now how about shorts? What's cuter, the darker ones or the lighter tinted one? Now before you answer, look at the butts. Should I get the darker ones since they have the bigger pockets? They usually make my butt look bigger."

Paul raised an eyebrow at this last remark.

"What? Don't give me that look," she pouted. "Now which one! I need answers, Paul!"

"Why don't you just get both?"

"Because you're paying for them," she responded. "I don't want to waste all your money…"

"You're not wasting it, and I'm sure I'll have pretty left by the time we're done here," he responded back.

"Maybe, but still… so the dark ones?"

"If you like those ones better, then sure, just get them. It looks like you're leaning more towards getting those ones anyway since you keep bringing them up."

Dawn frowned, looking thoughtful for a moment, before depositing the lighter pair with the discard pile.

"Now for dresses, I've got _three!_" Her smile widened as she showed him the three she had picked out.

Paul quirked an eyebrow as he studied each one individually. An onyx black dress with only one shoulder, a strapless ruby-red dress, and finally, a sapphire blue dress with a sweetheart neckline and a thin rhinestone-studded waistband.

"Those are awfully formal," he commented quietly. "Where would you ever wear those?"

"Someplace where I would wanna look nice," she responded, smiling shyly. "Which one do you like?"

Paul looked carefully at each dress, his eyes lingering on the sapphire-colored one. Finally, he said, "I like the blue one."

"Awesome! Well, that's all the clothes I wanted to get here," she declared happily, picking up the clothes she had selected.

"So I take it we can go pay now?" Paul asked hopefully.

"Yup!"

Not even five minutes later, everything was paid for and they checked out of the small store titled _Diamond Fashion_.

"Where do you wanna go next?" he asked, his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"Hmmmmm… how about…" She grinned suddenly, her eyes lighting up as she spotted the perfect store up ahead. "Victoria's Secret!"

Paul hesitated outside as Dawn rushed inside. Not even a minute later she came back out, a hand on her hip.

"Hey, why are you waiting out here?" she asked, tilting her head to one side. "Don't be so prude; it's not like you haven't seen girl lingerie before." She said this last part with a smirk on her lips. "I mean, we _do_ live together. I know you've seen my laundry, just like I've seen _yours_."

Paul felt himself flush, and aggravated, he walked past her, grumbling, "I'm not being prude."

"Relax, Paul, I was just joking," she responded, giggling. "Hmm… a panties clearance? Oooh, don't mind if I do. Aw, that's a cute thong… Ooh, and a two-for-one bra sale? _Ohmygod!_ They _better_ have that bra in my size!"

Paul watched as Dawn jumped from one place to another, not sure whether he should be amused or embarrassed as he watched her measure one lacy black bra up against her chest.

He found it… weird. He had never before gone shopping with Dawn before; she had always gone alone. Not necessarily because she wanted to go alone, but mostly because before he had always been too busy training or battling or something similar.

"Paul, do you like this one?"

Still lost in thought, he turned his head, wondering what piece of clothing she was showing him this time.

"Well? What's with that face? You don't like this one?" She frowned at him, her eyebrows furrowed together in disapproval. "I like this one… it's lacey and very pretty…"

"Dawn, I'm your boyfriend; if you want someone's opinion on what bras you should buy, you should ask May or Zoey."

"But they're not here right now," she protested, her frown deepening. "And yeah, you _are_ my boyfriend. Which means you're a boy. So tell me – do you think this bra would look cute on me or not?"

Paul felt his flush again as the unwanted _(oh, he knew it was so wanted) _image of Dawn in a black lace bra popped into his mind.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" he grumbled. He felt as if he was being set up to get kicked in the shin for having perverted thoughts.

Dawn placed her hands on her hips again. "Yeah! I need _someone_'s opinion!"

Sighing, Paul looked away. Unwillingly, he grumbled under his breath, "Yes."

"Yes, it would look cute on me?"

"Yeah," he huffed, aggravated. She smiled, satisfied.

"Okay I'll just get this then and some more of that Lovespell body lotion and perfume…"

Ten minutes later everything was paid for and they exited that store.

For a minute they glanced around, to see where they could go next. Dawn smiled as she spotted the food court. Her eyes lit up as she spotted the Ben and Jerry stand in the midst of it. Paul followed her gaze and found the Ben&Jerry's sign.

"You want to go get ice cream?" he asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Yeah!"

Paul smirked, amused, as he watched the blunette skip cheerfully to the ice cream stand, a _Victoria's Secret_ bag in one hand. He walked there much more slowly, one hand in his pocket. When he finally arrived, Dawn turned towards him, a finger on her chin.

"Which flavor are you getting?" she asked immediately. He shrugged. She frowned, her eyebrows furrowing together.

"Ahh! I don't know which flavor to get…! They all look so good!"

Paul quickly scanned all the choices the menu had presented. "I'll get Banana Split."

"Banana Split? I've never tried that one. Gah… still so many choices to choose from! Hmmmm."

"Do you want something sweet? Chocolate-y? Coffee?"

She thought for a moment. "I guess… my taste buds are up for something sweet? Maybe something berry-tasting."

Paul scanned the menu again.

"How about you get Berried Treasure then? Or Berry Berry Extraordinary?"

Dawn thought for a second. "I'll… get the second one. I hope it tastes good… But then again, this is Ben and Jerry's, they never disappoint me!"

"I'm sure it'll taste fine," he reassured her. The girl from the counter glanced up with wide eyes as he stepped up to take their orders.

"Hello," she said, surprised, for what reason Paul did not know.

"I would like to get two large cones, please. One banana split and the other Berry Berry Extraordinary."

"Of course, coming right up. That would be seven-fifty dollars, please." Paul handed her the exact money.

A few minutes later she arrived with their two cones, one in each hand.

"Um, sir?"

Paul stopped. Dawn glanced over her shoulder, a frown on her lips and an eyebrow raised. Slowly he turned around.

"Aren't you Paul Strongman?"

"Yes?"

The girl smiled as he said this, a blush painting her cheeks. "Sorry! I was just curious. I've heard a lot about you lately since you're like Sinnoh's new rising star!"

Paul cocked an eyebrow, surprised. "Rising star?"

"Yeah! You're the one who defeated Brandon, right? Pyramid King Brandon? From Kanto?"

"Well, yeah, but I defeated him a few years ago…?"

"Oh. Well, everybody's like talking about it now! You're really becoming famous, especially with the girls," her blush deepened as she said this, but she kept on smiling.

She finally turned away from the two as a new costumer walked up.

Paul was silent. Slowly, he turned towards Dawn but she was looking away, her expression blank as she stared at her ice cream cone. The two walked together in silence, licking their ice cream cones. Finally, Dawn broke the silence.

"I think she liked you," she commented wryly, a small smile on her lips.

"Hn."

"She was really pretty…"

"Hn. I didn't notice."

Dawn was silent for a while after that, her face thoughtful.

Paul watched her, his face also thoughtful. He wondered if she was jealous or something.

_Or maybe she's hoping you'll leave her for the Ben&Jerry girl so she can finally go out with Ash, guilt-free,_ the dark thought entered his mind without content. Paul felt again for the ring in his pocket, and briefly closed his eyes as he fought the bitterness that always found a way to consume him at the thought of Ash and Dawn.

"Today was really fun," Dawn surprised him, her voice quiet but sincere as she spoke. "Thank you for taking me out shopping, to celebrate. I really enjoyed it."

"No problem," he responded; for some odd reason he suddenly felt embarrassed.

She smiled at him, her eyes flickering briefly towards him before turning back to her ice cream.

Paul also turned back to his ice cream, his smile mirroring hers. And for a moment, the image of his mother's ring, hidden deep in his pocket, flashed through his mind and suddenly, anything and everything seemed possible…

Even him and Dawn.

* * *

When the two arrived back to their apartment, Dawn headed to the showers, and Paul headed to the couch as he took out the diamond ring from his pants pocket once again.

He just couldn't stop staring at it.

He tried to imagine Dawn wearing the ring around her left ring finger, but whenever he did, the image seemed blurry and out of focused. Maybe because he wasn't trying to just imagine her hand with the ring on it, but all of her, just with one simple change.

Her silky blue hair, her bright blue eyes, her creamy white skin, her perfect smile, her cute outfits, a shiny diamond ring on her left ring finger…

Blurry, out of focus. Why couldn't he just imagine her with a freaking ring on her finger?

He glared at the ring, concentrating with all his might on conjuring this one simple image of Dawn with a ring on her finger…

_DING-DONG!_

"What the f—" Paul scowled as he nearly dropped the ring. Irritated, he shoved the ring back in his pocket and went to see who the hell was visiting at this time of the day.

Paul's scowl deepened as he saw the guy standing behind the doors.

"Hey!" he chirped cheerfully, in that annoying, can-do-no-wrong voice. "Is Dawn here?" Even the electric rodent perched so innocently on his master's shoulder pissed him off more than he should have. "Is Dawn here?"

Everything about Ash Ketchum seemed to piss him off these days. And surprisingly, it had nothing to do with their pokémon, battling, or training.

"Yes, she is. Why?" he asked, his voice as cold and chilling as ever. He glared at the trainer, his arms crossed sternly over his chest.

"Geez, bring out the welcome wagon, why don't you?" He grumbled under his breath, huffing. Ash shook his head, as if shaking off Paul's negativism, and asked cheerfully, "Is it alright if I come in to talk to her? I just needed to ask her advice on something."

"She's busy at the moment," was his cold response, his expression blank as he watched Ash's cheery demeanor slip and slide into one of disappointment.

"Oh. So she can't talk?"

"We just got home from shopping, and she's showering at the moment," he told the annoying trainer. "Stop by some other time," were his last words before slamming the door in his face.

"RUDE!" Ash called out from behind the closed door. "Come on, Pikachu, let's go," he grumbled.

"Chu, chu," the electric mouse squeaked back.

For a moment, Paul regretted slamming the door in his rival's face. After all, they were supposed to be on better terms with each other than they first were, it was just he irritated him so much…

Not because he was loud and annoying, not because he was rash and reckless, not because he had the appetite of a snorlax, and not even because he preached like he was some kind of pokémon priest spreading the goodness of pokémon everywhere. He got over all that long ago.

No, the reason Ash Ketchum irritated him so much with his annoying, loud voice and his damn goody two-shoes way was because of Dawn Berlitz. It was because that damn know-it-all, can-do-no-wrong jackass held Dawn's heart, and not _him_, Paul, her cruel, heartless, callous bastard of a boyfriend.

Dawn was going to be pissed at him when she found out he just slammed the door on Ash…

"Who was at the door, Paul? I heard the doorbell ring."

Paul flinched and cursed under his breath. Of course, standing in the hallway, with her hair damp was Dawn herself, staring at him with wondering blue eyes.

"Just Ash," he responded gruffly.

"Ash? Did he just leave?" Suddenly she narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Did you slam the door in his face? I thought I heard the door slam!"

"I told him you busy showering and told him to stop by later," he responded coolly, although he could feel himself quickly growing more and more angry.

Don't let your emotions get the best of you, he told himself. He reminded himself of what had happened when he allowed that to happen when he first battled Brandon, and heck, even Cynthia.

I lost then, he told himself. I lost my cool and I lost my battles. Don't lose it now…

"Well, you didn't need to slam the door!" she huffed, crossing her arms indignantly in front of her. "Really, Paul, it's not good manners. How would you feel if went to visit Ash at his place, and he slammed the door in your face?"

"Well, for starters, I would never go to his place," he responded.

Dawn sighed, an irritated sound, and Paul knew the day's earlier romance had come to an abrupt end.

And of course, it was all Ash's fault. At least, that was the only person he would blame.

For a moment, he didn't care about keeping his cool and he stalked off, his nostrils slightly flared as he walked through their bedroom door and slammed it behind him. He had already walked through the bathroom door, the room still steamy and warm from Dawn's earlier shower, when she walked into the room.

"You know I think we need to talk about your attitude, Paul. There is really no need to keep slamming doors, you know," she told him, her voice laced in irritation as she glared at him, her hands back on her hip.

"What is there to talk about?" he responded icily back. He, too, was glaring at himself.

He glared at the imperfect man in the mirror, the man with the choppy, plum-colored hair and the cold onyx eyes. The man he saw before him disgusted him; he was glaring, his lips set in an angry, firm line. This man was charged with anger, with emotions, but all in all, he was weak. And not good enough.

"See, this is why we need to work on your attitude," she told him. "You can't just go around treating people like shit; for instance, Ash. Really, what did he do to you to make you slam the door behind him? Nothing, I bet."

He did everything, Paul's mind whispered, feeling his anger build steadily inside him as Dawn kept talking.

"I don't get why you hate Ash so much, Paul; I mean, really, what has he done to you that is really so awful? It's obvious to everyone, including Ash, that you practically despise him for no just reason," she continued, her voice growing louder and louder as Paul's anger just grew and grew.

He could feel it inside him, like a storm brewing inside him.

Ash _this_, Ash _that_, he's _so goddamn perfect_ in her eyes. The way she sees it no one should hate him, no one should hate her dear, lovable Ash.

"Are you even listening to me?" she demanded.

"Ash is irritating, that's why," he said finally. "He's always coming here when he doesn't even have any business to be here."

"Of course, he does," she responded. "I'm here, I'm his friend."

"That doesn't mean he needs to be here _every_ – _fucking_ – _day_," he retorted back angrily.

"He's not here _every_ – _day_," she replied back, her voice going shrill. "At the most he visits like three times a week! And he only just started doing that like a few weeks ago!"

"And for what reason? To have a therapy session with you? To talk to you about his ex-girlfriend?" He snorted in disgust. "How can you even stand listening to him and his sob stories? Especially when I doubt he would give a damn to listen to any sob stories you have."

"Ash is my friend, of course, I am going to listen to his problems! And I'm sure he would do the same for me!" she responded angrily back. "And is that seriously the only reason you dislike him so much? I seriously don't get you!"

"And I don't get why you're so insistent on defending him," he snapped back. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but just over two years ago you were _bawling your fucking eyes out_ over him! He broke your heart, and he didn't even give a shit!"

Dawn's eyes widened at his words. "He didn't break my heart, and he did care! Or at least… he would have! He didn't know I was crying!"

"That doesn't take away the fact that you were _crying over him!_ And why didn't he know you were crying? You can't convince me you were able to keep some fake smiling oh-I'm-okay, I'm-not-about-to-cry façade the whole time he was explaining to you how he didn't love you back! I bet you had tears in your eyes when he left, and he saw them, but you told him you were okay although he knew fully well you weren't! But he still left you all alone to cry all by yourself on that swing set, didn't he?"

"Shut up!" she screamed, tears filling her eyes. "You don't know anything! You don't understand!"

"Oh, I don't? Well, then please enlighten me! _Make me understand,_" he said sarcastically.

"Ash is the nicest, most kind-hearted guy I know! He didn't mean to hurt me; he was my best friend, and he still is!"

_Ash this, and Ash that. Ash is so great, he's like superman, just so fucking great! _

"If Ash is so great and kind-hearted, then why did he leave you on that swing set to cry by yourself?" he asked, his voice low.

Dawn glowered at him, her lips starting to form a small pout. "Would you just drop that subject! That was _years_ ago! It doesn't matter now. I'm over it. What happened happened, and I can't do anything to change it."

"But if you could change it, you would, wouldn't you?" he asked, his eyes darkening.

"What are you talking about? Of course I would change it if I could! That was one of the worse days of my life! I was heartbroken; of course I would want to change some things about that day," she told him, scowling. "It's not like he's the only person in the world to do something like that! He made a mistake, he's not perfect."

"And here I thought you were under the impression that he _was_ perfect," Paul sneered.

"Ash is not perfect, and neither are _you_! Who do you think you are, criticizing Ash for not being perfect, when you're even worse than him? Always being so tough on your pokémon! And the way you treated Chimchar was just awful! You never tell them thank you, you're always rude to people, and you have a cruel streak! And then you have the nerve to criticize Ash for something he did a long time ago? You're the one with all the flaws, Paul, not him!"

Paul was silent for a moment as he allowed her words to sink in. Paul was not delusional; he knew he was flawed. He knew he was a lot to put up with. And he never for a second thought he was closer to being perfect than Ash was. But still, it did hurt, to have Dawn throw all his flaws in his face like that.

Paul wasn't sure why, but at that moment, he remembered the diamond ring in his pants' pockets and Reggie's advice for him to tell Dawn how he felt. He wondered what exactly Dawn would say to him at that moment if he told her at that moment he loved her.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?!" she asked, still glowering at him, her arms crossed.

"I never thought for a second I was perfect," he started slowly, coldly. "And I never thought I was better than Ash. I know I'm not. I'm not delusional. And I'm not stupid, so I'm not stupid enough to believe you when you say you're over Ash."

"I _am_ over Ash!" she insisted.

"You're not," he said softly. "Even after all these years, you're still in love with him."

Dawn looked as if someone had just slapped her in the face, or as if someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water on her. Her blue eyes were wide with shock and her mouth had dropped open.

"I'm not…" she whispered. Abruptly, her eyes flared, and her face became fierce once more as she stomped out the door. "You don't know anything about how I feel or who I love!" she claimed heatedly before slamming it shut behind her.

Frustrated, Paul ran a hand through his hair, and angrily he turned back to his reflection, and glared at it until he felt almost certain the person in front of him was about to burst into flames. Of course, that didn't happen.

He hated himself. He hated the person he saw in front of him. He hated this weak, emotional, waste of a human being.

_I'll never be good enough for her…_ the words whispered through his mind, stabbing at him like a knife in the heart.

He tried to make her happy, but it was pointless. The man staring back at him in the mirror would never be good enough for her. He wasn't perfect, and he wasn't Ash, and he would be damned if he ever changed that, even for her.

He thought back to day's earlier events.

The kiss, the mall, the ice cream, _the happiness_… Now all gone, all within a matter of minutes. It was like a rollercoaster, really. They spent so much time building an upward relationship, and then it all went downhill in a matter of seconds.

Their whole relationship was like a rollercoaster, really. A crazy, insane rollercoaster ride with a lot more drops than rises. It was exhilarating, sure; definitely not boring, yeah, but it was exhausting. And it was just one of those rides you came off of feeling sick.

Paul felt for the diamond ring in his pocket and felt his heart squeeze in anguish. He squeezed the ring in his hands before bringing it up to the light, studying it once more. Once again he tried to imagine Dawn wearing such a ring, but found he could not.

He began to make a mental list of everything bad in their relationship.

They always fought.

She always picked Ash's side over his.

He always got stupidly jealous whenever Ash was around or even when she mentioned his name.

Her eyes didn't brighten around him the same way they did around Ash.

He had too much of a temper.

She was way too emotional.

He loved her.

She loved Ash...

She would never truly be happy with him. They would never truly be happy together, not with Ash always in the picture. She just couldn't forget him or her feelings for him.

Paul's gut clenched at this thought.

Their relationship was way more difficult than it should have been. It seemed all they ever did was continue to beat a dead horse. It was like an endless cycle, and they were going nowhere.

Paul knew it had to end. It couldn't go on like this forever.

Carefully, Paul placed the diamond ring in the jewelry box where Dawn kept all her rings. Maybe she would find it someday; maybe she never would. Or maybe she would find it and toss it out in the trash.

Slowly, he walked out of the room. He saw Dawn was in the living room, on their cornflower blue couch by the big window, glaring out at the world. And despite the fierce, angry look on her face she suddenly looked so small to him, so fragile, as if a single touch could break her.

Feeling like the ghost of his former self, like a walking shell, he walked into the living room.

Part of him prayed she wouldn't see him, it would be so much easier for him if she didn't; but another part of him prayed she would, if only because he knew if she did it would make things a lot more final.

He had just placed his hand on the golden knob when her head snapped up, as if she was startled by his presence.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

Surprisingly, she didn't sound accusatory. Instead she sounded almost scared, something Paul did not understand.

"Paul?"

Paul found he could not respond. He could not tell her where he was going. His lips simply would not form the words.

"Paul! Are you seriously not answering me?" she asked. Her voice had gone high-pitched, but not from anger, but something else. Why did she sound so despaired over him not answering her?

"Stop ignoring me!" This time there was a hint of anger in her voice. "I don't appreciate you first accusing me of being in love with Ash and then you just ignoring me when I'm trying to talk to you!"

Paul remained quiet. He simply could not speak. It was too hard to. Yet for her it came so easily, all her words and emotions and thoughts spilling so effortlessly from her mouth.

"I am not in love with Ash, so just get those thoughts out of your head. He is nothing to me except a friend, a really, really good friend. And if you think about it, if it wasn't for Ash we probably would have never met, Paul! And me defending Ash doesn't make me in love with him! He's just my friend! He doesn't love me, and I don't love him either! _I don't love him!"_

She spoke those words but they meant nothing to him. He knew they were a lie.

"_PAUL!_ Why won't you say anything?" She sounded as if she was nearly on the edge of hysteria when she screamed those last words.

"Just quit lying to yourself…"

"Huh?"

Finally, he turned around to face her. She looked confused, shocked, and despaired, all at once.

"You only see the world in gray, don't you? You only see the world in color when _Ash_ is around. There's no light in your eyes unless he's around. It's like you're incapable of being happy unless he's here. You can fake your smiles and you can fake that cheery laugh of yours, but you don't fool me. You never did. And you can kiss me, touch my face, do some romantic gesture, whatever. It doesn't make the truth any more of a lie. You don't see me; you only see Ash. You wish it was Ash you were with, not me. I can see it in your eyes."

Paul felt his heart twist at the anguish that filled her eyes and the raw pain that shaped her features. He knew everything he was saying was true, so for her it must have been like he was reading her diary out loud to her, spilling her deepest, darkest secrets for the entire world to hear, although it was only them two in the room. But he stood his ground, and he kept his face carefully indifferent.

"Well, I'm no longer going to be second best to Ash for you. You can either try again to be with Ash, or you can find someone new to be your boy-toy," he told her, his voice unusually low as he said those words. Was he trembling? God forbid.

"What are you trying to say?" she whispered, her blue eyes wide with disbelief. A single tear fell from one of those deep blue eyes and slid down a colorless cheek.

Determinedly, he lifted his head and looked her in the eye. She flinched at the cold eye contact, but he knew what he had to do. He knew what he had to say.

She didn't love him, and she would never be happy with him. He didn't deserve her, and truthfully, she didn't deserve him. They had stayed in the same place for way too long, and it was time he ended it altogether.

"It's over, Dawn."

For a moment, Dawn swayed, and for a moment, Paul feared she was about to fall. But then she steadied herself and her expression changed, becoming darker, crueler.

"Then go! Just go! I don't need you, I never did! I don't care if it's over, I'm _glad_ it's over!" she declared. "Just go! Go! _GO!_"

Silently, Paul opened the door and closed it behind him.

Once the door was shut, he heard Dawn's scream. Paul hesitated by the door, his hand still on the bronze knob. He could hear her cursing, screaming, crying.

"_COLD-HEARTED BASTARD!"_

He heard the splintering of glass being smashed, and he flinched at the sound of something big being thrown against the door.

"_ARROGANT KNOW-IT-ALL!"_

More wild screams filled the room as she shattered more glass against the walls. Paul could only imagine what their neighbors were thinking, and what the apartment owner would think if she left holes in his walls.

"_You don't know everything! You know nothing! Nothing…!"_ Her screams died down at these final words as a sob overtook her. Paul took a step back as he realized she was right next to the door.

There was a small thump as her back hit the door and she slid down against it.

Paul stood there, able to imagine the petite blunette sitting against the door, her face pressed against her knees while tears stained both her cheeks and knees. He couldn't hear her sobs, but he knew she was crying.

Paul stood there for a few seconds longer, before finally, slowly, walking away.

He had been there for her once when she was a damsel in distress, but this time, he was playing the villain in her fairy tale and she was going to have to find a new knight in tarnished armor…

* * *

"Paul, do you know what Dawn has been up to lately?" Ash asked him late one afternoon, about a week after his and Dawn's breakup.

"No, I have not," he responded back coldly before returning his pokémon and walking away.

**/x/x/x/**

"Has Dawn been in any contests, Paul? I haven't seen her in any lately," Ash commented to him.

"How the hell am I supposed to know," he snapped back, annoyed, before walking away.

"Well, I thought you were the one going out with her!" Ash huffed under his breath when he was out of earshot.

**/x/x/x/**

"You and Dawn broke up?! When the hell did this happen?!" Ash exclaimed loudly one morning when he spotted the plum-haired trainer training in his usual spot at the Veilstone Park next to a giant oak tree.

Paul scowled. "Over a month ago."

"And I just now heard of this?! Why did you two break up? Did she break up with you?" he asked, frowning.

"Actually, no. I broke up with _her_," he responded back sharply, his features tight in anger. Why can't Ash just go away and leave him alone for the rest of his life?!

"_What?"_ His chocolate-colored eyes widened in disbelief. "Why?!"

"Why do you have to ask so many questions?" he snapped back. "It's none of your business."

"Well, Dawn is my friend, and I would like to know the reason why her boyfriend of _two years_ suddenly broke up with her, especially when I haven't seen head or tails of Dawn in like a month now!"

"You haven't? Well, that's surprising," he sneered before turning away in disgust. "If you haven't seen her in a month, then how do you even know we broke up? The only person I've told about the breakup is my brother."

Paul's scowl deepened as he heard Ash's footsteps and annoying voice following him.

"I know because of Misty. She went over to Dawn's apartment the other day, and when she saw Dawn, _she was crying._"

This stopped Paul dead in his tracks. "She was crying?" But the breakup was over a month ago… she couldn't possibly still be upset about it.

Ash nodded, his eyes glaring accusingly at him. "Her and Misty were talking, and then when Misty brought you up, she just started crying. Misty had to ask what was wrong like a gazillion times before she finally told her about how you guys broke up."

Paul just stood there, shocked, letting this sink in. Finally, he shook his head, his lips a firm line before he started walking away again.

No. She wasn't upset because of him.

It occurred to him suddenly that Ash was speaking about Misty as if they were back together. Now that he thought about it, Ash did seem a lot happier the last few times he saw him even though he continued to make snide and rude comments towards the annoying trainer.

So he and Misty _are_ back together, he thought, realization sinking in. That must be the reason she was crying.

She was probably upset because Misty had come over, and she hadn't wanted to tell Misty the real reason she was crying was because she was still in love with _her_ boyfriend. So she had simply told Misty about the breakup, to cover-up her real reason for crying.

Yeah, that had to be it, he thought.

**/x/x/x/**

The next day was the day of the Grand Festival.

Paul told himself he wouldn't go. He needed to train, he wanted to train. He had to get stronger, to defeat Cynthia, and to become Champion of Sinnoh. And yet somehow, he still found himself in the Contest Hall of Sunyshore City where that year's Grand Festival was taking place.

He just had to see her.

Although he soon wished he hadn't. She looked beautiful with her hair curled and pulled back with a silky black ribbon. She had on a floor-length black dress that sparkled in the stage light, and her small waist was accentuated by big, geometric jewels. She wore matching black gloves with a ring over one of her fingers.

She was beautiful, and almost hauntingly so as the stage lights dimmed, and she released Buneary and Pachirisu.

If this was a heartbroken girl, she most certainly didn't look it.

Her face was glowing and her eyes were bright. But then again, who knows, maybe it was just the lights casted off her face making her appear that way.

Dawn did well for most of the contest. She easily made it pass the appeal rounds with combinations of Shadow Ball and electric moves. The mix of electricity and shadows only added to her own beauty as they were casted on and off her face.

However, the battle rounds proved to be her downfall. She lost in the final rounds, when she fumbled over an attack. The look on her face after she lost, simply put, was heartbreaking.

It was there for only a brief second, if even that, but Paul saw it. He knew that looked. That void in her eyes, that lack of color in her cheeks, that thinning of her lips. The depression that had set in.

She had lost. She had been so close to victory, only to fumble in the end and have it slip from her fingers.

If there was one thing they had in common that didn't always clash with each other, it was the fact that they both tended to be harsh on themselves over their losses.

You were so close; don't patronize yourself over it… Paul thought.

But of course she couldn't hear him. And she would have no one there to support her when she got home. Except for maybe Ash. Her friend.

Finally, she forced a smile on her lips and congratulated the winner, some boy he didn't care to remember the name of, and then turned to the crowd. Her eyes scanned over the audience, as if she was looking for someone in particular. Ash? Perhaps, him?

Slowly, Paul removed himself from the crowd and headed for the pokémon center where he spent the night.

**/x/x/x/**

It was a cloudy afternoon when he saw Dawn again. The skies were gray and overcast, sprinkles of rain falling every now and then, while thunder crashed in the distance a few towns over.

She was walking with Ash. Her hair was parted in its usual way with three triangular clips holding it back, and she wore a sleeveless white button up top with a pale pink skirt that fell to her ankles. When he first saw her he had briefly been reminded of an angel with her white shirt glowing in the eerie sunlight.

Paul turned away, already starting to feel the slow simmer of jealousy claw at his chest at the sight of his ex-girlfriend and his rival.

I wonder where Misty is, he thought, glowering at the poké ball in his hand.

"Torterra, stand by!" he shouted.

He wanted to rip the earth up, he wanted to start a storm, and he wanted to cause some chaos.

"Torterrra, Frenzy Plant followed by Leaf Storm and Solar Storm, let's go!" he ordered.

He watched as his pokémon followed his demands but his eyes soon went out of focus as he realized Dawn and Ash were now behind him, watching him. He couldn't see them for his back was turned, but he knew they were there, he could sense their presence.

"C'mon, Dawn, let's go," Ash told her in a soft voice, leading her away.

Paul couldn't help it, he turned his head to see Ash and Dawn now walking past the park, Ash's arm wrapped soothingly around Dawn's shoulder while Dawn's arms appeared to be crossed tightly in front of her.

Paul turned away, his chest tightening in anger.

He released his second and third pokémon.

"Magmortar, Flame Thrower! Electivire, Thunder!"

Chaos, chaos, chaos all around him. Fire filled his vision and thunder sounded all around him but it wasn't loud enough to drown out the hammering of his heart in his chest.

He was ready to battle Cynthia.

**/x/x/x/**

The battle took place on a day similar to the last time he saw Dawn, but the clouds were thicker and darker. They moved slowly and blanketed the whole sky.

It was a six-on-six battle.

The battle started off good at first, with Cynthia's pokémon dropping first. Then two of his pokémon were defeated. But Paul refused to lose; he was determined to win this time.

He had just lost his third pokémon, with Cynthia still having four pokémon left, when he saw her.

She stood at the front of the crowd that had gathered since his and Cynthia's battle first started, looking small and fragile in the crowd around her. She was in a similar outfit as the last time he saw her, only this time her shirt was a light gray and her skirt was white. Again, he couldn't help but notice how radiant and angel-like she looked with the dreary weather around her.

Her face held no expression and he could see her hair was being blown gently by a breeze. Her arms were folded almost protectively over her chest, and her eyes were currently turned to the ground. She didn't seem to realize he had seen her.

Suddenly, she looked up, as if she sensed she was being watched. Their eyes connected briefly and Paul looked away.

There was no way he was going to lose this match.

This time, victory would be his. Not Cynthia's.

This time he would prove himself good enough.

He called out his next pokémon.

"Electivire, stand by for battle!"

From behind him, he could hear thunder in the distance, and in front of him, he could see the strikes of lightning, also in the distance.

He could hear his heart hammering in his chest, louder than the thunder behind him, louder than the battle taking place in front of him, and louder than the crowd around him.

Cynthia's third pokémon fainted and Paul breathed a sigh of relief. The battle was half-way won.

He kept his eyes on Cynthia's stoic face as he waited for her to call out her next pokémon and her next move.

But he could still see Dawn, in his peripheral vision. And despite how hard he tried to ignore her and focus on his battle instead, his mind kept coming back to her.

He wanted her to see him win. He wondered what she thought of his pokémon and his moves. What if she left? Was she impressed by him or did she think Ash was a better trainer? Ash…

But Ash wasn't there. It was only her. And she was watching him.

With this thought in mind, and Cynthia's next pokémon now out in front of him, he ordered his next attack.

She was watching him. He was going to win. He refused to lose with her there, watching; but even if she wasn't there he would still refuse to lose. Losing was not an option. Not now, not ever.

He was good enough. He had to be.

After a long struggle he finally took out Cynthia's fourth pokémon, but after his last two fights, Electivire was exhausted. But he couldn't call him back; it hadn't been part of the rules to be able to recall pokémon for this battle. Electivire would just have to tough it out.

Naturally, Electivire lost the next fight. They were both down to two pokémon now, although Paul supposed he did have the lead.

The crowd was growing bigger and bigger by the second. But Dawn remained where she was, her eyes trained to him. Paul felt as if she was willing him with her mind to look at her, but he refused to.

He knew his next pokémon, Magmortar, would have a type disadvantage against Milotic, a water type, but he didn't wanna risk taking out his trump card, Torterra, just yet when he knew Cynthia still had hers left. Besides he had trained his pokémon against type disadvantages and Milotic had already taken some damage from Electivire so he figured Magmortar wouldn't be too bad off.

For a moment he could almost hear Dawn's voice scolding him—she never did understand his training or battling techniques, but deep down he knew she admired his tactics for they were different and they worked.

In his momentary distraction, Cynthia ordered her first attack.

"Milotic, Water Pulse!"

Paul reacted seconds too late. Paul mentally cursed himself for allowing himself to think about Dawn and become distracted.

"Quick, dodge, and use Flame Thrower!"

Magmortar was still hit with the water attack, but the damage was not as bad as it could have been. Magmortar's attack landed a direct hit and burned Milotic pretty badly. But Cynthia was Champion for a reason and Milotic was a strong pokémon. Paul knew it would take a lot more than a simple fire attack to defeat this majestic pokémon.

Despite his best attempts at staying focus on only his battle, he found that his mind kept wandering to Dawn—why was she even watching his battle? She probably hated him after he walked out on her. He remembered her last fiery words to him.

"_Then go! Just go! I don't need you, I never did! I don't care if it's over, I'm glad it's over! Just go! Go! __**GO!**__"_

She knew he saw her. So why didn't she leave? Why did she stay? Perhaps she was hoping he would lose, and she would get the glorious chance to watch his defeat?

Paul felt his heart quicken in both anger and despair at this thought. No, he would not lose. He had to stay focus and he had to win. He _would_ become Sinnoh's next champion, and he would achieve that title _today_.

Milotic and Magmortar were both the next ones to fall. Him and Cynthia both had only one pokémon left now. They were at a tie.

_Don't fail me now, Torterra,_ he thought, his grip on his final pokémon's poke ball tightening.

For a moment, he allowed himself to look over at Dawn. She was still watching him intently. Her gaze did not falter even as they made eye contact. Her face remained expressionless.

"This battle has been lots of fun so far," Cynthia's voice snapped Paul's attention back to the blonde-haired Champion he was currently battling. "I can't remember the last time I was put in a corner like this." She smiled as she said this. Her smile faded, however, as she called out her last pokémon, a determined glint now entering her eyes.

"Garchomp!"

_Don't fail me now…_ Paul repeated the prayer once more to his pokémon.

"Torterra, stand by for battle!"

_Don't fail me… don't fail me… don't fail me…_

He could hear those three words repeating itself in his mind, like a mantra. He just couldn't lose this time, not with Dawn there, not with her watching…

Somewhere in the heat and intensity of his final battle, Dawn's voice entered his head, screaming, crying—_"Then go! Just go! I don't need you, I never did!"_

He was losing. Garchomp was just too fast.

The buneary was faster than the torkoal, but in the end, the torkoal won the race, Paul thought. He just had to use Garchomp's speed to Torterra's advantage—exploit his weakness.

"Torterra, use Frenzy Plant to trip Garchomp!" Garchomp was a big pokémon, it could take a lot of damage falling.

_Don't fail me, Torterra, don't fail me... don't fail me… don't fail me…_

He can't fail…

"_Then go! Just go! I don't need you, I never did! I don't care if it's over, I'm glad it's over! Just go! Go! __**GO!**__"_

"_You don't know anything about how I feel or who I love!"_

"_Ash is not perfect, and neither are you! Who do you think you are, criticizing Ash for not being perfect, when you're even worse than him? Always being so tough on your pokémon! And the way you treated Chimchar was just awful! You never tell them thank you, you're always rude to people, and you have a cruel streak! And then you have the nerve to criticize Ash for something he did a long time ago? You're the one with all the flaws, Paul, not him!"_

"_What the hell is your __**problem!**__"_

"_At least Ash is nice and kind to other people. You should be more like him, instead of being rude to him and everybody else!"_

"_You are really a lot to deal with sometimes, Paul…"_

The words spun around in his head, making it hard to focus—

"Torterra, Earthquake!"

Don't fail me, Torterra, don't fail me! He gritted his teeth together, struggling to block the other voices, the memories that threatened to drown him.

"_I don't care if it's over, I'm __**glad**__ it's over! Just go! Go! __**GO!**__"_

She said she was glad it was over. No more dealing with him, the cold, cruel, heartless ass.

No—shut up! Shut up! _Shut up! _He willed the voices away.

He knew they couldn't go on like that – always fighting and screaming and bringing each other down… Of course, she was glad it was over. No more fights, no more screaming, no more pretending as if she was happy she was with him and not Ash…

"Dragon Rush, Garchomp!"

Paul watched as a light blue aura began to cloak Garchomp's body. Paul's mind was blank, his heart beating in his chest, his head throbbing painfully in his head.

He knew Torterra wouldn't be able to take another direct attack, it had already received too much damage.

This was the end.

He was a failure. He was going to lose. He had to focus, but he couldn't – Dawn, Ash… he would never be champion. And Dawn was going to witness it…

_Dawn…_

Suddenly, he could hear her voice, calling his name – for a moment he wasn't sure whether it was real or imaginary. But he could hear it, clear in his head.

No, he was going to win. Dawn was going to witness his _victory_, not his defeat.

"Torterra, stop it with Frenzy Plant and then Solar Beam!"

This was his last chance. This was where he either won or lost.

The seconds seemed to drag on painfully slow as he watched Torterra's thick, thorny vines tear from the ground to wrap painfully around Garchomp's glowing body – the dragon pokémon's attacks were slowed from all the damage it had taken. The minutes seemed to drag on even slower as he watched Torterra fire his next attack – his most powerful attack – solar beam, the sizzling golden beam now enveloping Garchomp's writhing body as it cried out in agony.

"_Then go! Just go! I don't need you, I never did! I don't care if it's over, I'm glad it's over! Just go! Go! __**GO!**__"_

Paul felt his strength waver and he fell to one knee.

Garchomp crashed to the ground, defeated.

The crowd roared in excitement.

They had a new champion. Paul had won. He had _won_.

He breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. Standing back up, he returned Torterra and thanked him. He even smiled, one corner of his lips pulling up in the slightest of smiles. He actually felt elated at his latest victory.

He had won – he was champion – his life-long dream finally accomplished. It was the greatest feeling ever.

Cynthia approached him, a smile gracing her lips. "Congratulations, Paul. Just a few moments ago, you were the most powerful challenger. And just now, you became the most powerful of all the Trainers. You are now our newest Champion!"

These words filled Paul with even more elation – _he_ was the newest Champion!

The next half hour continued on like this, with random strangers who had watched his battle against Cynthia coming up to him to congratulate him or shake hands with him or ask for his autograph or take a picture with him.

It was like he was a celebrity.

Finally, the crowd and everyone dispersed and Paul was finally left alone.

He was still filled with elation as he shoved his hands in his jacket's pockets and started his walk to the pokémon center, to heal his pokémon.

He stopped when he realized that out of everyone who had gone up to him to congratulate him for his victory, there was one person who hadn't – the only person from the crowd who he had actually noticed.

He looked up as he felt the smallest of sprinkles kiss his cheek. The sky was still blanketed with a mass of silver clouds. Paul frowned, but then shook his head.

So Dawn left. So what. Who cares. He sure as hell didn't.

He continued his walk to the pokémon center. He had just passed the Veilstone City Park when he saw her, sitting on a bench, her ankles crossed, her hands in her lap, and her eyes downcast.

He stopped for a second, wondering if he should walk pass her or take another route to the pokémon center.

Suddenly, she looked up, as if once again she had sensed his eyes on her. Slowly, he started to walk past her, deciding he wouldn't be immature and act as if he was avoiding her.

"Congratulations on winning, Paul. You did great."

Her voice surprised him. It made his heart speed up and his steps slow down until he was halted in front of her. He stood there in silence for what felt like hours, unsure what to say. He could only think of the last time they had spoken, and the words they had exchanged. Her last angry words at him especially kept replaying in his mind.

Finally, he grunted, "Thanks."

He stayed there, unmoving, if only because he felt as if there was something else she wanted to say – something else that was on her mind.

What was she going to tell him? That he was right all along, she did still love Ash, and now they were going out because him and Misty had broken up again? He wasn't sure whether Ash and Misty had broken up again, but he didn't count it out as a possibility.

"Paul—" she hesitated. Slowly, he turned to face her. She was frowning, as if uncertain how to frame her next words.

He waited, offering no words. She was on her own with whatever she was going to say next.

"Can we – can we talk?" she asked. He couldn't help but notice that she kept messing with her fingers, especially the ones on her left hand. "But not here – somewhere more… _private?_"

Paul turned away. "Fine. But I need to drop off my pokémon at the pokémon center first."

"O-of course," she said.

And so she followed him meekly to the pokémon center, keeping a good two-to-three feet distance between them.

It was weird, Paul realized, knowing they were talking to each other again and that even now they were so close together.

"Where did you want to go to talk?" he asked after he dropped his pokémon off, his expression unreadable and his voice flat.

"How about our—" She stopped, cringing at her mistake. "_My_ apartment."

He just nodded in agreement.

It took them only ten minutes to walk to her apartment building – and his old apartment building . They walked past the parking lot where a few cars were parked and passed three doors before coming to their – _her_ apartment. She quickly unlocked the door and led him inside. She closed the door slowly behind her, and stood there for a moment, sighing softly.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, almost rudely.

He didn't like being there, it was filled with too many… memories.

She frowned before scowling and turning away. He noticed she was still fiddling with her fingers – it looked as if she was twisting something off her finger.

"You are still so…" She huffed under her breath.

"So… what?" he asked, crossing his arms. She frowned, clearly unhappy. And Paul sighed and frowned too.

He didn't want to start a fight. He just wanted to know why she had invited him here. What was it she needed to talk to him about? That was all he wanted to know.

She turned to face him, her lips pulling down into an even bigger frown. He turned away, unable to look at her.

"I…"

"Look, if this has anything to do with Ash, just spit it out already," he told her impatiently.

Her eyes flared and she did that familiar stance of placing her hands on her hips. "This doesn't have anything to do with Ash! Quit assuming everything is always about him!"

Paul just shrugged, unaffected by her anger. "Well, I don't know anything else you could possibly want to talk to me about. And I did see you two together just a few days ago, and you two _did_ look pretty touchy-feely together..."

Dawn frowned at his words. "You saw that?"

"Of course," he snorted, feeling anger grow inside him. What did she think he was, blind? Dumb?

Dawn tensed and crossed her arms tightly over her shoulder, her hands clenched in a fist. "There's nothing going on between me and Ash. He was just comforting me."

"Of course," he said again, this time flatly.

Dawn's eyebrows furrowed together, her frown deepening.

"You still think I'm in love with Ash, don't you?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"And here I thought you said this conversation was going to have nothing to do with Ash," Paul laughed, anger once again contorting his expression. Why did they always come back to this single topic? They weren't even together now, and still they had come back to the topic of Ash and her love for him…

"That's because it doesn't have anything to do with Ash! But you need to understand Paul _I'm not in love with him!_" she told him, her voice desperate with pleading.

"And why do I have to believe that, hm?" he asked, turning towards her. "Is that what you want me to tell Ash? That after more than two years, you finally got over him? Maybe in hopes that once he realizes you no longer like him like that, that maybe, just maybe, he'll open his eyes and realize that hey—maybe he does like you, after all!"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, hurt. "Why can't you just believe me when I say I don't feel that way about him anymore?!"

"Why can't I? I'll tell you why," he was breathing heavily now, his vision flashing red now. He was angry, so angry. "Maybe because I spent _two whole fucking years _with you as your _boyfriend_, listening to you defend _him_ over _me_, watching you cheer – albeit, silently - for _him_ instead of _me_, knowing that you wished it was _Ash_ you were with and not _me_!"

Tears were now rolling down her eyes, and she was clutching at her heart, as if she was actually feeling physical pain there. But Paul didn't care, no, he didn't care anymore.

"I never loved Ash! I know I said I did, once, but that was two years ago! I was stupid, I was foolish, and honestly I didn't even know what love was. _But now I do._ Or at least, I did," she sobbed.

Paul still didn't care, but he could feel his anger fading.

Fiercely, Dawn wiped her eyes away, and then once again took that familiar hands-on-hip stance as she glowered at him through her tears.

"You just don't have any idea what it's like _being_ with you! Or how I feel around you half the time; I know it's not all your fault, but you have to understand what it's like—I mean, what it _was_ like being your girlfriend, always feeling as if you'll never be good enough!"

Paul froze at these last words.

"Never be good enough?"

"Yeah. Like I'll never be good enough. It's like it didn't matter how good of a coordinator I was, because I was still not a trainer, like you. And it didn't matter how pretty I was, because I knew there would always be someone who was still prettier than me. And it didn't matter what anyone else thought of me, because it didn't matter what _they_ thought—because I just wanted to be good enough to someone who actually _mattered_ to me. But I blew it; I messed it up, because I was stupid and blind and scared."

Paul felt his heart constrict at her words. Faintly, he recalled a memory from two years ago that involved a crying damsel in distress and a swing set…

"I knew I could never be good enough for you because we're just too different, and you could always find someone you had more in common with, someone you liked better," Tears began to fill her eyes as she said these words, her true feelings finally out in the open, raw with pain and emotion.

"I wasn't good enough for Ash—at least, that was what I told myself. And it killed me inside, feeling that way, because Ash was so nice and friendly… he was honestly the nicest person I knew! And then there was you, and I just couldn't allow myself to feel the same way for you as I once did for Ash, because you weren't like Ash; you were harsher, crueler, had higher standards… and I thought, if I wasn't good enough for Ash, there was no way I would ever be good enough for you, especially with how different we are to each other."

Her voice took on a high-pitched tone as she whispered, "All my life I've just been trying to prove that I'm good enough. To you, to Ash, but mostly, to myself."

Paul was silent for a moment, shocked beyond belief. They almost sounded like his own thoughts… only a lot more extreme.

He stood there in silence for a moment, allowing her words to soak in.

She had just wanted to be good enough for someone. Just like he wanted to be good enough for her. Didn't everyone just want to be good enough in the end?

"Maybe I did still like Ash when I was going out with you, and I know that wasn't fair," she whispered. "But it was only because I chose to keep liking him, because I thought if I continued to hold onto my feelings for him then I could keep myself from getting feelings for you too. I didn't want to feel for you the same way I did for Ash, because I had never felt so much pain until Ash broke my heart, and I didn't want to feel that way ever again, especially for you – because I knew if _you_ broke my heart, it would be so much worse… and I was right, it was."

Suddenly, she unclenched her fists to reveal that what she had been holding in her hand was a little platinum ring. Paul felt his eyes widen in shock.

That was his mom's old wedding ring, the one he was going to give Dawn, the one he had left in her jewelry box. He had forgotten he had even left it behind.

"That was my mom's wedding ring," he told her, quietly.

"You were going to ask me to marry you, weren't you?" she asked, point-blank.

Paul felt his hands clench in his pockets and he found he couldn't meet Dawn's eyes.

"It was on my mind," he admitted.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Paul wasn't sure why she was apologizing. She could have been apologizing for a million different things—for loving Ash for so long instead of him, for being not so indiscrete with her feelings for Ash, for not accepting the ring…

Paul felt his gut clench at this last thought.

"Paul, look at me, please," she whispered. And he did. She closed the gap between their bodies and locked her fingers with his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, a single tear rolling down her cheeks.

"It took you leaving me for me to open my eyes and realize that it wasn't Ash I was in love with, but you, it was you," she declared, her voice hoarse. "It's you I love, Paul, not Ash. I realized that before I found the ring, I realized that before you left even, I realized that the moment I knew I was going to lose you because I realized I didn't _want_ to lose you. I wanted you to stay because I loved you, and I still love you!"

Paul eyes widened in shock at these words, her confession tumbling around in his head. He simply couldn't believe it, it was _impossible_.

Dawn didn't give him the chance to respond with words before she crashed her lips against his in a final, desperate attempt to prove her feelings for him. She threw her arms around his neck, the salty taste of her tears intermingling with the lightly sweetened taste of her lips. Paul's mind was still spinning under the weight of her confession, but somehow, between the shock and new-found elation that began to fill him, he found himself kissing her back, his lips moving naturally with hers.

When she finally pulled away, she sighed, and laid her head against his chest.

"Ash can't compare to you…" she whispered.

Paul didn't respond. He just stood there and held her, his arms wrapped tightly around her, her head on his chest, finally feeling as if he and Dawn were going to get a happy ending, after all.

And finally, he took his brother's advice and told her how he felt about her.

"I love you, too."

* * *

**So apparently I finished this one-shot like nine or so months ago and forgot about it until two days ago… /8**

**I must say, I really love how different this story is from most of my other stories! :D This is probably the only story/one-shot I've done so far where **_**Dawn**_** is wronging **_**Paul**_**.** **Usually it's always Paul doing or not doing something to Dawn in my stories, but this time the roles are reversed! :D (which was actually kind of a pain since I had some conflicting ideas about how Dawn really felt about Ash and Paul while writing this…)**

**Well, let me know if you thought Paul or any other character in this was OOC! Especially let me know whether or not you thought Paul was OOC, because for once I actually feel as if I made him in-character and I'm actually pretty proud of how I portrayed his character and feelings and stuff, but I really wanna know what you guys think. I mean who cares what I think, I'm an author, I'm biased lol. :p**

**Also let me know if you see any mistakes, since I'm sure there's mistakes, since every time I re-read this story (which has been like a billion times, since I've been working on this one-shot for god knows how long, gosh, probably years) I find new mistakes xp also I apologize for the battle scene, which I know sucks, but I think that was mainly because I didn't want to get too in detail with the battle scene when I was writing the ending like nine-ten months ago since I mainly wanted to focus on his feelings (which were pretty chaotic – so hopefully the battle scene helped portray that…) **

**Good thing I made this one-shot really long, or this author note probably coulda ended up being half the story… hahaha xD; **

**Anyway, hasta la vista, and please leave a review~ let me know what you think, what you liked, what you hated, whatever**_**  
**_


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